Sitting at my favorite table at the Coffee Table in Silver Lake, eyes fixed on the single palm tree atop Griffith Park. My “angsty” thoughts were interrupted by a noted Los Angeles poet/actor/legend inviting me to his table of like-minded folk talking about the craft of writing and the endless parade of naked models coming in and out of my apartment. These were the moments I lived for out there. Much like having lunch with models that yielded memorable conversations. I had shot with her only two days before on a Tuesday, and it came up how she was involved in Model U.N. in high school. The model I shot with the next day was a debate coach with a PhD. We ended up talking about how much more we appreciated the humanist thought of Jacques Derrida late in life than in his younger, earlier incarnation. The model from Tuesday came back and gave me a haircut. The conversation ran the gamut of forced orgasms, CBT and a myriad of other S&M terminology. Another incredible model in May of 2009 had her PhD in Philosophy from a university in the Netherlands. Our shoot started at 8AM and as we were moving in between bondage sessions, the conversation roamed from philosopher Gilles Deleuze to Derrida to her desire to pose for more erotic photography . . . particularly with women.
Ah, women! That’s what this is about, always been about.
“La femme sera mon sujet/ . . . and woman will be my subject." - Jacques Derrida
I’m a strange one. The good girls, the ones who dote on everything you say and do, make me recoil in horror and run away. Be beautiful for me, but please be flawed. Have bad habits. Be the hooker with a heart of gold, the librarian who is kinkier than imaginable. But then, again, think about the Derrida references above. As he would say, “there is no such thing as the unified self.” Life is dualities, multiplicities. We are all dualities, multiplicities.
I put you on a pedestal so you’ll go down on it.
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